15 Thoughts You’ll Have While Drinking Wine Tonight

1.

“I’m only going to have one glass.”

It’s a week night. And you’ve had a long day.  But, you aren’t a monster, you’re not going to let your friend drink alone.  One glass. That’s all. It pairs nicely with your macrobiotic diet.

2.

“Oh. This house red tastes real good.”

You haven’t had wine since the other night. Oh, how you’ve missed it. It just feels right.

3.

“I’m still only going to have one glass.”

You are so amazing and practice excellent self-restraint.  You’ve got this.

4.

“It’s time for me to share my truths.”

You have a lot of opinions and now is the time and place to share them. But first….

5.

“I’ll just have one more.”

The main course hasn’t even arrived.  You need something to help it go down.

6.

“Maybe we should just get a bottle?”

It would be much cheaper. Even if we don’t finish it.

7.

“Gosh, I’m feeling so sexy.”

You begin to wonder who’s around tonight?  It’s a shame to waste all this sexiness and words of wit by only going home.

8.

“Wait, now I feel so sad.”

It’s just been so hard for you lately.  It’s been raining a lot. You just need a good cry. Sometimes a good old fashioned cry in public feels so good.

9.

“I’m so tired.”

You just want your bed.  Why is your friend talking so much?  You’ve heard this story before.

10.

“I need dessert, stat.”

11.

“Holy shit, we finished the bottle?”

You weren’t even going to drink tonight!

12.

“I have so many regrets in life.”

…and finishing that bottle is one of them. Why did you do this to yourself?

13.

“I’m not sure how I’m going to stand up and walk out of here.”

You must. Your bed is waiting for you. Stop being a wimp.

14.

“I’m definitely not drinking for the rest of the week.”

You’re just going to drink water with lemon.

15.

24 Hours Later…

“Meh. You can have one glass.”